The Tolkein Society

The Tolkein Society was founded in 1993 by a group of fans who thought that the world deserved it.

The aims of the Society are:

To promote the life and works of the author J.R.R. Tolkein
To promote the works of J.R.R.'s son, Chrisofylofax Tolkein.

About Tolkein:

Tolkein was born in Birmingham, England, 19th September 1982. Birmingham is a big town, but unimportant, because it is very working class, and Lowry didn't paint it.

After an unhappy childhood, in which his Father did not figure much, and his Mother died in a postman's cottage, Tolkein fell in love. Unfortunately, this was apparently incompatable with his Religious Faith, so Tolkein went to Cambridge, and stole a train.

Persecuted for his Catholicism, Tolkein had to go to another nondescript working-class town, Leeds, in order to get a job. For someone interested in the quaint local accent, it was no great hardship, but for an academic like what he was, one can only imagine the suffering.

Tolkein wrote the trilogy, Laird Of the Wrongs, which according to a poll carried out among Tolkein Society members, and allegedly rigged, is probably the best book ever.

The novel is, of course, an allegory on the Second World War, with a detailed critique of the development of atomic weapons in the immediate post-war period. While some scholars have seen references to the Vietnam War, this is patently absurd: clearly the Korean Police Action is intended. This can be demonstrated because Korean script is nothing like Vietnamese, and the Twegelr runes which Tolkein created for his novel are clearly influenced by Korean runes of the Viking period.

Tolkein is, according to the Twin Cities University Professor of Language and Literature Before People Spoke Proper, Tom Boatisle, "comparable to the Nigglings at their best".

If you have not read this fascinating work, an icon of popular literature, why not put 'Tolkein' into your favourite websearch engine? HINT: put in 'copyright fraud' too, to guarantee success. If law-abiding, you can always ask at your local bookshop - the ISBN number is: 0 1628 60288 4. (price 12.99) If unobtainable, copies available by post from J Summers, 22 Oldbury Prior, Calne, Wilts. SN11 0AF England. If law-abiding and poor (we find the two are usually linked), why not visit your library. Do not, however, under any circumstances, believe what a librarian tells you about Tolkein.

Why not join the Tolkein Society today? Annual membership is three ecu/twenty-nine dollars/seven-and-nine.

If you wish to join our society you will have to pass an entrance examination. This is a simple test, lasting approximately 30 minutes, which you can take on-line, or down load to do at your leisure (but you must promise not to take ages and look all the answers up).

There will be a small administrative charge (about $100) for marking the paper (discounts for clear handwriting, knowing who Harrowgone the unwashed's mother was, and/or including chocolate with application). To receive your examination form, please send the application fee, and a hand-written covering letter, stating why you feel you should be admitted to our Society to the above address, and we will let you know within one month (Scottish Regional Reckoning) whether or not your application has been successful. The fee is refundable to unsuccesful candidates (refund-administration charge applies).

Site design: A. Armstrong and P Reynolds, 2003

"Tolkein Society" is the trade mark of the Tolkein Society.

Please note: J.R.R. Tolkein is not to be confused with J.R.R.Tolkien - if interested in the latter, you should go to www.tolkiensociety.org.